Share
The term nap trapped is real!
Many parents of unsettled babies (see my content on Colic and PURPLE Crying) find themselves trapped underneath a baby that will only sleep on them. In this blog I’ll discuss how contact naps can be absolutely beautiful when they are sporadic and absolutely debilitating if it’s the only way your baby will sleep.
What is baby contact napping?
An contact nap is exactly that, it’s a nap where your baby sleeps on you, they can be in the:
- Carrier or
- Being held.
Contact naps can be great at getting an unsettled baby to sleep quickly – when your baby is close to you, they’ll almost instantly re-settle! Your smell – your warmth – your heartbeat…who wouldn’t want to curl up and go to sleep in the safest, warmest place you could imagine?!?
My favourite type of contact naps are carrier naps, this is because you have the benefits of a contact nap but have your arms and legs free so you can still do quite a bit, which is good for both your physical and mental well being.
Are contact naps for newborns ok?
Yes, assisted naps are great for newborns and little babies.
As your baby approaches 6 weeks I like them to have at least some of their naps in their own cot or bassinet (or at least to start the naps there) and as they approach 4 months I recommend they are used in a limited way – for both your health and your baby’s ability to sleep independently.
Babies sleep so soundly on you (particularly newborns) that you may find it hard to keep them awake during feeds. If your baby falls asleep while feeding there are lots of tips and tricks in my baby sleep programs to keep them awake for a nourishing feed.
Is contact napping safe?
Contact naps are safe as long as the carer is well rested and stays awake – if you have a highly unsettled baby both these things may not be possible.
General safety notes for:
- Carrier naps:
Always remember your TICKS rules:
Tight; In view at all times; Close enough to kiss; Keep their chin off their chest & Support their back.
Never fall asleep in a chair or lie down with your baby in a carrier. - Your baby contact napping on you:
The term “nap trapped” is real, it’s impossible to do basically anything when you have a baby sleeping on you other than snuggling them (and enjoy that delicious new baby smell). This can be beautiful every now and then, but can be debilitating for some parents long term.
For this reason I don’t recommend these too often.
If your baby does nap on you it’s essential you stay awake and alert for these naps as falling asleep is a significant safety risk. This is something no one likes to discuss but babies have died in the loving arms of their sleeping parents. The risk of suffocation or falling is very high if you fall asleep.
If you feel like you can’t stay awake you need to transfer your baby to a cot. While bed sharing or co-sleeping isn’t recommended by Red Nose Australia it’s important if you do bed share to do it safely (1).
Tips for staying awake while your baby contact naps on you:
- Have an adult monitor you and your baby: Research (2) has found frequent monitoring by another grownup will make sure you stay awake and your baby stays safe.
- Don’t sit in a sleep-inducing seat. Don’t offer a contact nap in bed, or a sitting in a rocking/ reclining chair or lying on the couh, if you’re tired it will be close to impossible to stay awake.
The benefits of contact napping?
Like most things baby related contact napping has quite a few pros …and a few cons! The benefits include:
- Your baby loves sleeping on you and will settle and sleep easily
- If your baby won’t go down for a particular nap or only goes down for one sleep cycle allowing them to contact nap to finish that sleep can keep your day on track
- Colicky babies in particular love being upright in a carrier
- Good for your mental health – rather than sitting in a dark room trying to calm your unsettled baby, you can be up and about in the fresh air or doing some odd jobs around the house
Contact napping is also used in medical care. For premature babies skin-to-skin care (SSC) or ‘Kangaroo Mother Care’ (KMC) is frequently used in paediatric practice – often in less developed countries with less access to incubators etc. (but still valid in all socio-demographic settings). It’s used to support low birth weight babies and is recommended by the World Health Organisation (WHO) (3). I recommend skin to skin contact for every baby following birth. Kangaroo mother care (KMC) extends this period of skin to skin contact and has been proven to be an effective way to meet a low birth weight baby’s needs for warmth, breastfeeding, protection from infection, stimulation, safety – amazing what a cuddle can do!!
What are the downsides of contact naps?
These may become a negative sleep association and you may end up with a baby that will only sleep on you. Being nap-trapped for 6 hours a day can be lovely, as a one-off – but as discussed, debilitating long term if it’s the only way your baby can get any sleep.
At what age should you stop contact naps?
Assisted naps are VERY useful in the age group of 0-16 weeks – helping keep the day on track if they wake early from a nap. They are particularly helpful while you’re establishing a routine, as well as managing over-tiredness.
After 6 weeks I like babies to try and start most of their sleeps in their own crib or bassinet (then they can finish that nap if they wake after a sleep cycle with an assisted nap).
After 4 months I don’t recommend you rely on contact naps too heavily and focus on re-settling in the cot.
When do babies outgrow contact naps?
This is the tough one – some (not all) babies who don’t learn to sleep independently will turn into toddlers that won’t sleep independently for 5+ years . Thus the reason I recommend focusing on cot re-settling after 4 months.
A note to parents who want to do contact naps until toddlerhood: if contact naps are your thing and you’re doing them safely and you’re happy to be a parent who sleeps next to your toddler and preschooler as they grow, then don’t hesitate! But a general word of caution that any health care professional or pediatric sleep consultant will tell you (including me) … in my clinical experience even if parents don’t mind this conceptually the pressure it puts on both you and your partner in terms of mental, physical and relationship wellbeing is immense. Go in with open eyes and at any point, be aware that you can make a change – it’s never too late.
How to stop Contact napping and transition to a crib?
My online sleep programs are your detailed guide to this, but in general terms the first step to weaning away from contact sleep is to remove any hurdles that may be driving discomfort. Whether it’s room environment (ensuring your baby’s sleep space is set up with the ideal sleep conditions), trapped wind, eczema, or making sure they are not undertired or overtired at nap time etc. – you need to make sure your baby is comfortable with the ideal conditions for sleep.
You don’t have to start with every sleep – you can just aim for one sleep a day. It doesn’t have to be cold turkey approach, sleep training can be a gentle journey for parent and baby as you transition to crib naps. Generally the younger they are the easier it will be to wean them from contact naps.
One of the most common scenarios I see is a highly unsettled “colicky” baby who had a lot of contact naps, naturally wean these around 4 months. The key here is these babies will often be placed in the cot or bassinet for the start of their sleep and then transitioned to a carrier or assisted nap if they couldn’t manage to link a sleep cycle – in this case weaning contact naps happens very naturally and gradually and everyday you’re teaching your baby to love their sleep and link their sleep cycles.
If you have a highly unsettled baby, I recommend checking out my colic video.
So what’s the final word on baby sleep and contact naps?
They are fantastic as long as they are used safely and after 6 weeks your baby can start their nap in their own cot and after 4 months you should not be not relying on them too heavily. Enjoy your snuggles!
For more sleep tips and age appropriate routines for your baby see my online sleep courses – the Sleep Bundle gives you access to every age group.
