Toddler Bedtime Routine Tips Every Parent Should Know

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January 07, 2025
7 min read

dad with toddler

If you’re strugglIng with a toddler who won’t go to bed keep reading! In this blog I’ll talk through the importance of a consistent bedtime routine and bedtime, why visual sequences are really effective for toddlers and how you can create great bedtime rituals at your house including quiet play and reading.

Why your child’s bedtime routine is important 

It’s not just me talking about consistent bedtime routines – according to multiple sleep medicine reviews, a consistent bedtime routine can have many benefits for toddlers, including:

  1. Better sleep: A bedtime routine can lead to longer sleep duration, fewer nighttime awakenings, and earlier more consistent bedtimes. 
  2. Improved development: Bedtime routines can promote a child’s development and well-being, including language development, literacy, and emotional and behavioral regulation. 
  3. Positive family functioning: Bedtime routines and rituals can contribute to positive family functioning, including parent-child attachment. 

Our toddlers LOVE routine and rituals

Our toddlers LOVE  routines and rituals, they become habit and once habit are rarely challenged.

Routines also provide children with structure, so they know what to expect. 

We know that predictability, routine and functional rituals can decrease anxiety. This is because it is something familiar for your toddler and all carers – there’s a regular rhythm to the daily turn of events.

When our kids know that the same thing happens each night before bed, they don’t have to worry about what’s coming up next, particularly at a time when we are likely to see more challenging behaviours thanks to tiredness.

Having a predictable evening routine also decreases the chances of ‘pushing the boundary’ type behaviours, because your kids know that there is a set routine and there is no use trying to disrupt it, because mum and dad are consistent. 

 

Download your FREE Toddler Bedtime Routine!

What you’ll need – some blue tac or some self adhesive velcro circles. COMING SOON

 

The benefit of visual routines and sequences for toddlers

A visual schedule helps your child see the sequence of events coming up – in this case we’re talking about evening routines but it could also be a sequence like getting dressed, or perhaps the sequence of activities over the course of a day at preschool. 

Presenting the routine sequence in pictures makes it simple and easy for children of all ages and language abilities to understand.

Other positive impacts of sequences and routines: 

  1. Your child is more likely to comply with your instructions when your expectations are laid out clearly 
  2. Reduce any stress or anxiety your child might be experiencing 
  3. Provide structure and predictability when they are tired 
  4. Help ease transitions between activities
  5. Improve the ability to follow a plan
  6. Supporting literacy development when incorporating words with pictures
  7. Improves understanding of sequencing and the concept of time
  8. Help your child to become more independent in their daily living skills 
  9. Building self-esteem and establishing a sense of accomplishment

We’ve peppered visual sequences throughout the Toddler Toolkit – you’ll see some in the 7.0 Nitty Gritty Module for some tasks that many parents find problematic e.g. brushing teeth, hand washing, nose blowing etc.  

toddler toolkit course

 

Tips to get the most out of your toddler’s bedtime routine

These tips are relevant for going to bed or for starting any new type of sequence.

TIP 1: Be consistent with your routine

  • A consistent bedtime routine is one of the most powerful tools you have to help your toddler
  • It won’t matter where you are or who is looking after them, they’ll know exactly what to expect each evening

TIP 2: Be patient with your toddler 

  • These are new for your toddler and  may take some time and require physical and verbal guidance on how to follow the schedule and complete activities

TIP 3: Track success in small steps

  • Ensure there is an indication of when your child has completed the tasks, have stickers ready or a marker to tick off items (or allow them to fold up each item – see below).

TIP 4: Positive reinforcement

  • Remember to provide praise, rewards or other motivators when they complete the schedule appropriately.
  • You can have a star chart that runs in parallel to your routine you could have a small prize for completing one night of the routine and a bigger prize for completing 5 nights in a row!! 

how to deal with toddler tantrums banner

 

The best toddler bedtime routine  

In my experience when you’re starting to implement a bedtime or evening routine the best type is a visual routine. Your bedtime routine chart will be a big help at the end of the day, they’re a huge part of the Dr Golly Sleep Program for toddlers. 

I love the charts that your toddler can fold up themselves each time they complete a task – you can also have ones you laminate and they can tick off with a white board marker or add stickers to.

A good bedtime routine will include all the tasks your family needs to do of an evening – and this may change from family to family. Some families may pray, some families are prone to eczema may need to moisturise every night, for older toddlers they may have evening household chores like clearing the table or packing the dishwasher etc. Whatever your family does in an evening every night include it.

My standard routine which suits the large majority of families includes:

  • Eat dinner
  • Bath 
  • PJs
  • Teeth clean 
  • Toilet 
  • Book
  • Kiss and cuddle 
  • Going to sleep  (the aim for most parents is for this to be independently) 

 

Does your toddler struggle to fall asleep without you? 

If your toddler is having trouble falling asleep independently my Toddler Bundle will include all the tricks and tips you need to gently work your way out of this, implement healthy sleep habits, and get your evenings back. 

toddler bundle sleep program

  

The importance of quiet play and reading in the evening 

Quiet play includes things like colouring in, drawing, puzzles or (when age appropriate) lego.  I highly recommend if you can, join in and do these with your toddler – you’ll be amazed at how much value you get from these mindful activities and the benefits they bring to the whole family – helping you to connect and unwind at the end of a day. 

Reading to your child, or as they grow have them read to you, has incredible benefits. The immediate are a calm and consistent bedtime routine, the long term will contribute significantly to their language and literacy skills.

Some toddlers and children can find books too exciting at bedtime – if this is the case for your family you may try and read them a poem you know (I love rambling Australian bush poetry for this purpose) you may also make up a personalised bedtime story you can tell them about “This is the story of a little girl called XXX, she lived at a lovely white house at XXX, she was born on the XXXXX, she had blond curly hair, sparkly blue eyes a cute button nose and a very cheeky smile, she was one of the kindest and most curious girls that ever lived.  One XXX morning the little girl called XXXX woke up and ….”  and you basically retell them their day as an amazing adventure.

It’s not lost on me at this time of night that the kitchen needs to be cleaned, loads of washing put on, work emails taken care of, preparation for the next day etc etc.  If you can make it work, dedicating this time to being present with your toddler will be invaluable and probably the favourite time of both you and your toddler’s day! 

read our blog about toddler hitting and biting

 

You won’t need visual charts every night of the year

What you’ll find is you’ll probably use your toddler bedtime routines for a few weeks and then hopefully habits will form, a healthy bedtime routine will eventually become part of your family’s everyday routine. If things go off the rails for whatever reason (it’s completely normal if they do) you can reprint it or bring it back out again to reinforce expectations. 

Screen Time isn’t recommended as part of toddler evening routine

I don’t recommend any screen time for the 2 hours leading up to bed. See more on this topic in my blog Screen Time for Babies and Toddlers:

read our blog about how to manage screen time for toddlers

 

Do the evening tasks in the routine have to be completed in the same order every night to be effective?

While the visual sequencing will work better if it’s in the order your toddler does it every night it won’t be the end of the world if they go to the toilet before they clean their teeth etc. Try and have the routine as close to the natural order as things happen in your house.

Don’t prioritise the bedtime routine over a consistent bedtime

While a bedtime routine important is important recent research (1) has found that a consistent bedtime is more important than the duration or quality of sleep – so don’t push bedtime out just to fit it in your routine, if you’re limited for time move through the steps a bit quicker but don’t rush, the aim is to keep the whole house calm.

Bedtime routines for toddlers are just one of the many steps you can take to improve bedtime at your house. The Dr Golly Sleep Programs have all the information for sleep at every age 0-5 years. The Toddler Toolkit is an online parenting course for 1-5 year olds helping parents navigate every toddler stage and challenge RRP $100.

our experts Dr Golly and Amanda Abel

Amanda Abel is a paediatric psychologist, mum, founder of the Northern Centre for Child Development (NCCD) and co-creator of the Toddler Toolkit alongside Dr Golly. Working directly and indirectly with hundreds of clients each year, Amanda’s mission is for every child to achieve their best outcomes by equipping families and educators with the tools they need to help kids thrive.  Amanda draws on her own experiences of being a parent along with her extensive training and well-honed skill set to get families thriving. She is Circle of Security Parenting® trained and is a registered SOS Feeding Therapist for children who are problem feeders. 

Find her on Instagram: @amanda.j.abel @toddlertoolkit

 

References

  1. Dadzie, Adwoa BS*; Master, Lindsay MAS*; Hohman, Emily E. PhD; Acton, Erika Hernandez PhD; Tauriello, Sara MS§; Paul, Ian M. MD, MSc; Savage, Jennifer S. PhD†,¶; Anzman-Frasca, Stephanie PhD§,**; Buxton, Orfeu M. PhD*. Associations Between Sleep Health and Child Behavior at Age 6 Years in the INSIGHT Study. Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics ():10.1097/DBP.0000000000001326, November 8, 2024. 
 
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